I'm chasing a dream. I'm trying to captor a specter. I’m trying to put escaped air back into a balloon. I want someone desperately who doesn’t want me at all. I know I’m being a fool. I know I’m wasting energy and time. Time is gone forever. Energy is neither created nor destroyed, so I guess its like running in place. Why do I want him? I don’t know. I’ve wanted him for so long, I don’t know anything else to want. I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t know life in any other context. If I had any shame when it came to this person, I would be completely humiliated by the pining I have done over the years. Yes, I said Y-E-A-R-S, not minutes, days or months….years. I don’t think there is one time I’ve been doing one of those adult acts *wink, wink* and I wasn’t thinking of him. Of course, he’s no where to be found during those situations, but he is always on my mind. (Certain people are not going to like that statement, oh well, it’s the truth. There is no accounting for where the mind wonders during that most intimate act.) I don’t say this to dis who I’m with or boost the ego of the object of my love (obsession?), I say it only because it is the truth. I like to call the object of my passion (mania?) the one. But shouldn’t this ‘love’ be mutual? I just know he will break down one of these days. One day he will succumb to my charm, wit, beauty, or all three. One day he will see the light. One day he will understand that there is no one mo' better for him than me. One day I’ll grow a third breast and be a guest on Leno.
Listening to blue-eyed blues way before Justin Timberlake: Jonny Lang.
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