Funny, Plain and Simple

The framework to change America

It’s already there: the school system. There are building. There are people. There is an administrative system. We could transform America in 20 years. In my world all parents would go to work the same hours that their children did. No latch key kids. No after school programs. Kids would start school at age 3 years old not 5, because no mother can stay with her child and teach her manners or read stories or bake cookies. Eliminate daycare except for infants, and start school early. (Well in my world there would be longer maternity leave or job sharing or part time work for new parents.) Once school began at 3 years old, the system would be strictly Montessori method. I don’t know why everyone does not use this method because it is TRIED and TRUE. It works. And no it’s not a religion and no its no some new age way to teach. And if you never heard of it, you’re probably just stupid (oh, that was harsh). Anyway, there would be blended classes and no tracking system. You can’t make a super smart kid dumb by having her help the “slower” kid, in fact you can raise both up at the same time. “It’s not my kids job to help other kids.” Guess what you can help now or incarcerate and pay welfare later, you’re choice, Little Miss Selfish Elitist. Sixth grad would go back to elementary school where these babies belong and the ninth would go back to middle or junior high. No more arranging school around SPORTS (the reason the school system put ninth grade up with high school in the first place so coaches could get those boys in football). Appropriate sex/health education would begin at 3 years old. And by the time the kids reached high school unwanted pregnancies would not be a problem neither would STDs. Because guess what you have programmed kids so early (when they listen to adults) of course they will delay sex. Talking to a teenager is like talking to Bush…they know it all and can’t be dissuaded from their mission. In high school, there will 4 years of EVERY CORE SUBJECT: math, science, English, history, humanities & Spanish (why are we wasting time learning German and French, when we should be learning Spanish and Chinese?). To graduate you must complete classes in geography, civics, and world religions. Everyone will be taught at a high level, college-ready level whether they plan to attend classes or not. Teacher salaries will be raised. There would be a national curriculum like in other countries where they realize regional or state boundaries can’t prevent the country from working together to reach the same goal. If everyone is Colorado and New Hampshire is smart and everyone in Mississippi and Alabama are stupid, what good will that do America as a whole?? Ouch! I just fell off my soapbox.

Did you make the cut?

Yesterday morning a few choice people were eliminated. . . from my cell phone contacts. Erased. From the list. Outgoing. Incoming. Missed. Text messages. Everything. Gone. So, if you don't hear from me. You won't. If I hear from you, you will be ignored. I'm through with you. You all know who you are.

Cheers to a new life without you!!!!

Ummm....

There is much too say this week. People are never what you expect. You yourself are never what you expect. People intentionally hurt you. People unintentionally hurt you. Life is boring. Life is an adventure. You react to things based on childhood scars. You create new adult scars. You work hard and get nothing. You work very little and are rewarded beyond belief. You're in love with one person most of your life. You're in hate with most people for even longer. Could you be a little more optimistic about life? Yes. Will you. Maybe. Maybe not.

Answer me this

How come Hilary thinks she should get credit for her “experience” at being First Lady for 8 years?

Why does Rudy believe he can be he Republican candidate with two ex-wives, children that hate him, belief in gay rights/marriage, and pro-choice?

How are companies suing youtube for infringing copyrights? (nobody is going to pay to watch your commercial or music video)

Does anyone want to be a doctor anymore?

Has anyone made the connection that the reason many Americans don’t take vacation is they CANNOT afford to take one?

When are wages going to go up to match prices?

Why are men crazy?

Can you make love work across the country?

Do you like stale vanilla wafers?

Is there a cure for shallowness?

Is Dennis Kucinich serious?

Are we ever going to give actual quality education to EVERYone in the USA?

The reason America is ridiculous

Read this.

This is so interesting to me. I read all the time. This year I’ve read probably at least five or six. It would be more if I didn’t have to work so hard at my job. I love reading. There is so much knowledge out there. There are so many wonderful stories. There are so many inspiring lives. There are so many cautionary tales. I can’t understand why you wouldn’t read a book. If you say reading is boring…you just haven’t found the right book. There are so many titles and genres to choose from that you many feel overwhelmed. Of course, all my suspicious were correct religious, Republican, southern, uneducated people read the least which explain their narrow world view. Sorry, you know it’s true. Don’t argue with me, it’s pointless. (insert cheesy grin here)

Just a great thing

Thank God we live in America.

Sunday Blues

I don’t want to go to bed. It’s that simple. I’m sleepy as L. But, I refuse to go to bed. That only brings Monday morning around that much faster. I was sad all day because tomorrow is the start of another crazy work week. I wish we had three days off in a row instead of just two. Wouldn’t it be great? Uh, I’m just lounging around on my ruby red couch and watching VH1 Soul and loving my new TV (thanks Mama & Daddy) Now who’s going to carry this old out of here? That will be determined later. Anyway, I got a idea for a new book. (Almost finished with the first novel.) Oh, this new is going to be a great one. It starts with a good title and I have one. It’s going to be funny, controversial, and it will definitely have something to say. More later. Of course, it has it biographical overtones, but I won’t be the main character. I might not be in there at all. I’m outlining now. It’s after midnight…..shoot.

You know you do it to

I just partook in one those delicious, decadent, secret pleasures in life. I watched the True Hollywood Story on E! Channel. Yes, you all have watched this show. Danny Bonaduce, Paris Hilton or Dana Plato. It's EXACTLY like a train wreck: impossible to take your eyes away. I just watch Vanessa Williams: disgraced beauty queen to uber-villainess Emmy-nominated actress on the hit Ugly Betty (one of my favorite shows). But what I really found interesting is that her second husband, the SUPER-FINE....uh, did I say SUPER-FINE.....I mean SUPER-FINE....what was I saying? Anyway her second husband, Rick Fox, actually possibly cheated on her. The rumors were never confirmed, but those were the allegations made by the Star (a giant in journalism). I was like if a man will cheat on one of the most beautiful women on earth, ladies we are all doomed. I mean she is the quintessential American (secret) ideal of beauty. White hair. Blondish hair. Blue Eyes. Naturally tanned skin. Exotic. Shapely but not 'vulgar'. I mean what did this man want? In her day she was much more beautiful than the likes of Halle Berry or Jennifer Anniston (who really is a mannish, ugly, anorexic fake-ass beyatch). Anyway, it just got me thinking. DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!

2015.26 miles

Approximately 2,015 miles away, my future may await. I’m not completely sure if what is in store, but it feels like it could be big. There are big decisions to be made. There are sacrifices to be made. There are egos that must be set aside. It could be beautiful or it could be one big mistake. Vulnerability is what’s at stake. Opening one’s heart fully and completely is on the line. Complete surrender to another is the ambition. Can this future hold something beautiful and promising or something ugly and painful? It’s that big. It’s that important. It’s that incredible. I need a light to guide me. I need a sign. I need divine intervention.

I know, I know, Ms. Scary Prosecutor of S.Co. I keep get involved in these crazy long distance entanglements. Nobody in Louisville understands me. I don’t listen to silly, asinine songs like “hey, bay, bay.” (as soon as I heard it I was like WTF!). I don’t wear burgundy hair. I don’t “Greek” style sandals laced up to my kneecaps. I just don’t fit in! LOL! I listen to Beck, Gorillaz, John Legend, Jonny Lang & Alice Smith. I wear my real hair at its natural color. I wear flip-flops whenever possible. I only wear TWO rings (one on each hand). It’s hard being me, but sooooo fun!

I'm too idealistic

I believe in fairy tales. I believe in love songs. I believe in Rumi love poems. I believe in happy endings. I believe in chick flicks. I believe in Mary J-Kendu redemptive love. I believe the best friend will see the light. I believe in the family with tons of kids who all turn out to be successful. I believe in ABC After School Specials. I believe the Nice Girl always gets the Nice Guy. I believe love will conquer all. I believe in Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester. I believe in Love & Basketball and Brownsugar. I want it all to be true. I want it all to be right. I don’t know how I got like this.

I’m ok, stop calling me

I’ve scared a few people. I was being a tad dramatic yesterday. Back in the day before Big Pharmaceutical infiltrated our lives, a person could be melancholy and no one got excited. Now, it’s like take a pill. I lean toward sorrow. I teeter on chaos. I hover on disdain. Anyway, l I thought if I got it all out, maybe I could get over it. It worked a little. I’m still P.O., but I’m better. A guy in Florida helped. Thanks, Florida Boy. A girl in Shelbyville said some encouraging words. And a little short girl who is preggers said some nice things as well. Thanks, Preggers & Ms. Get Your Revocation Passed Cuz There’s a New Prosecutor in Town. Anyway, I’ll get it together. I really will (hopefully). I need peace. I need peace. I need peace. If you can ‘t be apart of solution, get the hell out the way, man!

Uh, I love this man.

I hate everyone and everything

Have you ever just stared in the mirror and thought: “What in the $&#*& were you thinking???” I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I can’t see the forest for the trees. I am drowning and worried about a steak dinner. There is not an ounce of anything that could cure what ails me. Everything gets on my nerve. Everything makes me want to stab it lifeless. Everything is going to hell in a handbasket. I want to become a cat lady. I want to move away and not tell a soul. I want to slap everyone silly who defies me. I have a complex. I’m perfect imperfection. I want to crush every bug I see including butterflies and fireflies. I want to send a brick through a car windshield. I want to slash tires. I want to cold-cock life right on the chin. Dead in the jaw. Uh, I’ll be fine.

Remember this? The real thing.

If ever there was a reason to.....

Buy a Kanye West CD this is the reason.

My choice

I’ve never been in love and I not sure if it supposed to feel good all the time. (I’ve been completely and utterly obsessed.) I can’t get a person out of my mind. He creeps in at the most peculiar moments: when I’m on the record in court, when I’m watching a movie, when I’m writing a memo for work…just weird times. I think of so many things. Why do I like him? Why do I love him? Does he like me as much? Does he love me as much? We have so much in common. We have so many differences. He has qualities that annoy the stuffing out of me. He has qualities that I find so admirable. We fight like cats and dogs. We share our deepest secrets. We struggle for dominance. Yet we both want to surrender to the other. It’s a funny feeling. Sometimes I smile to myself; sometimes I frown. Not at all like I thought love would be. Is it love? It’s definitely strong. It’s definitely a connection. Umm, I’ll call it love. It’s my choice, right?

Yikes

Black women Dating Out

"To a certain degree, black people are sick of each other," Alexander said. "It would be better for black men and black women to open their options."

Damn! That's the quote that struck a cord in me. I feel it is true! Successful Black women are disappointed that the American dream of a family in the traditional way is very elusive for them. Successful Black men (just like unsuccessful Black men) are utterly controlled by peer pressure, so they pick the status mate: a white woman, any Brown Woman, or the Barely Black woman. Black women and men are all suffering under the oppression of white supremacy and there is a DIS-ease within all of us because of it. So black men and women are wounded, hurt and sick of each other. It’s so heartbreaking. What is the solution? Unknown. There is a war on black. There is a sordid, insane, mind-blowing historical reference to every tangled pathology in Black America and white America. I don’t know what to say. Read this and tell me that it’s not true (even though it’s a hoax). It’s the unconscious sway of the way things work. We have to break the cycle of this flawed thinking. Prayer.

Uh, let me tell you something....

Lexington sucks. But I love A.W.S.

Is it just me or.....

Is it just me or does Evan Ross look like a black Michael Jackson?

Is it just me or is the finest rapper Common and not that marble mouth 50 cent?

Is it just me or did Desh almost steal the scene from Jason Bourne this weekend?

Is it just me or is the funniest commercial on TV right now?*

Is it just me or is this girl never, ever, ever, ever going to replace Aaliyah?

Is it just me or is Reggaeton going to replace that tired, played genre loosely called Hip Hop?

Is it just me or there way a few stars with eyewear to cover EYE problems: Musiq Soulchild, Ne-Yo, and Biggie (can’t talk ill of the dead).

This certain person

There is an individual out there that has asked me “why haven’t you written about me on your blog?” I responded with a middle school, “because.” I’m not sure what this person is looking for me to write, but I’ll give it a shot. This person who asked me this somewhat self-absorbed question is far from an enigma, but close to a puzzle. The individual has so many great qualities apart from the arrogant self-absorption previously mentioned: independence, ambition, intelligence, and character. Sometimes I wonder what this person wants from me, but I never wonder too long because soon we start to bicker and I forget my musings. Of course, gentle readers, you have surmised that my gender ambiguity could only mean I am talking of a male. Yes, a man. Why get so twisted up for a man? I don’t know. Because.

You know you wanna laugh

Read this carefully.

Man sentenced to 5 years.

Phrases I hate

Cute, little blonde.

Hot, little blonde.

Keeping it real.

How many points is that?

Let me call you back.

I’m moving.

What’s wrong, what happened?

What up yo?

You’re an emotional wreck.

Insufficient funds.

Student loan payment.

Open plea.

Two copies.

Last book in the series.

Wal-Mart is Evil Incarnate

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20056614/site/newsweek/

Slavery. I don’t care what they about: it’s the Mexican custom to work these teenagers for free. Is there no end to Wal-Mart’s lust for profits. I had this argument with a dear, dear colleague of mine (you know who you are, Beefcake). I understand, and he so ardently reminded me, corporations exist to make profits. I don’t disagree. I mean it’s a law they have to make profits or they should dissolve. But how much profit is enough. A higher profit margin for Wal-Mart is an insatiable desire. I mean, it’s like a crackhead looking for a rock. How much is enough? Maybe if Wal-Mart paid a decent wage to the thousands of teenagers bagging groceries in Mexico FOR FREE, they won’t be trying to cross the Texas-Mexican border into this country to be our nannies and gardeners. I’m just saying. Greedy, greedy. Oh, and one more thing. Sending all our manufacturing jobs to China really paid off for Fisher-Price. I hope they get sued out of existence…it will serve them right. Greedy, greedy.

The discovery of America was the occasion of the greatest outburst of cruelty and reckless greed known in history.

Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924)

A really good friend finds this hilarious