Open Love Letter to Aaron McGruder

Dear Aaron:

I have just purchased with my beloved sister the complete first season of "The Boondocks." Even though I have already seen each episode three or more times each, I will continue to watch my most favorite episodes whenever I want to and not on the time of Adult Swim (who may get a love letter for airing your show). I cannot begin to tell you the orgasmic glee I get every time I hear the theme song by Asheru or the utter delight I feel every time I see Huey's perfectly messily groomed afro. You are my hero, man! Telling it like it is with no regard to criticism, fear of controversy or pitiful so-called civil rights leaders. When MLK tells all the ignorant you know whats to shut the H up, I shed tears of joy. Uncle Ruckus holds a dear place in my colon next to all the other good and bad bacteria that keep me healthy. Like the good bacteria he is necessary for life. He shows just how brainwashed some can be. I especially like how you ever so slightly but not so subtly make fun of Prosecutor Tom Dubious. Riley is everyone's stupid cousin or friend or, unfortunately, brother or child. You just want to shake him 'til his little neck snaps, of course, in a loving way. Aaron, I hope to God, that you continue your political and social commentary for many, many years. Your humor is so appreciated and your way of thinking is not an anomaly. You have a legion of people who "get" you. We understand you. The Passion of Ruckus is a masterpiece of animation, comedy, social, political and religious commentary.

I salute you Aaron. You are a genius. You are a god-send. You are one funny mofo!

Are you married? If not......

Love,
me

(Beloved sister we have found the one man that we BOTH want. Who ever sees him first better call dibs!)

DD you are a great secretary. Damn you vile woman!

I should mind my own business, but....

I'm not sure why this effected me so much, but today I saw a very elite, white looking family with a young 18-20 year old black female at a local restaurant. She was carrying the plates of the toddlers and blowing on hot food. She was putting napkins on the infant and making sure all the kids were comfortable. What was the mother doing? Looking bored and uninterested. She was digging into her food. Now, I know I will never begrudge a person a honest, legal job, but I was really put out by the imagery it portrayed. Mammy taking care of massa's children. I don't know why I had such a visceral response. I wanted to shake the mother and say: "why can't you care for your own children?? You obviously have tons of money, you can afford to stay home. why are you letting someone else raise your kids? do you work or are you one of the ladies who lunch? What is your problem you lazy, vapid, half-witted prima-donna?!?!?!" Of course, I just stared unabashedly and sucked my teeth in the true "strong black woman" fashion. Clearly, it was none of GDB, but I was still ticked. Are black people not supposed to do classically "menial/servant" jobs because of the way they look and harking back to the past when these were the only jobs Black people were allowed to have? No. I mean the black girl was getting paid, but I wish she was working at the Gap instead.

Ignore him ladies

Why do men get more fascinated with you the more you ignore them? I have empty the cell phone of all the evil, manipulative, hateful men in my life. I have a male-stressfree-zone. I only laugh and talk to male friends or colleagues. Thanks LMPD and fellow prosecutors!!! I have stopped calling, texting, emailing and generally thinking about a long list of men. But they keep popping up. An email here. A text message there. I’m finished with you guys. I’m not playing the games anymore. We didn’t get along, why are trying to make contact. When I wanted to talk to you, you were no where to be found. When I wanted to play the text message games, you were too busy. When I wanted to have a conversation over email with in the space of an hour (not on work time of course!)….you were silent in cyberspace. I’m not sure what the point is. This is the game people play. Glamour magazine’s quintessential male columnist Jake has described it as GIGS: Grass Is Greener Syndrome. When they had me, they were like I want someone else. Now, that they don’t have me, please comeback. Why? GIGS. I’m guessing we all have a mild case of it now and then. But some people suffer from it in the moderate to severe range. Please be satisfied with where you are now. You got the pretty girl that makes you laugh, be happy with her. You have the guy that is charming, kind and generous, be happy with him. Halle Berry is not going to call you gentlemen. Guess what ladies, Brad Pitt is busy with his United Colors of Benneton family (which I find adorable, sexy and quite fantastic). Everyone get over it. GIGS can make a turn for the worse and metastasize into BID* (Bitter Individual Disorder).

By the way, evil ones, LEAVE ME ALONE. I’m moving on (uh, some would say finally….but I would sock ‘some’ in the mouth.)

No songs. It’s a dismal musical world.

*currently there is no known cure for GIGS or BID.

The Problem with Pedestals

They aren't perfect. I used to love a certain Hip Hop Artist. Always positive and thought provoking. Always going against the bling and cheerleading rappers of today. Always lacing his rhymes with allusions, metaphors, and similes that were beyond phenomenal. Intricacies abounding. Positive black thought. Calling to task the ig'nant negroes. I put him on a pedestal. And there you go: it's a long way down once your idol falls. What did he do? It's complicated. Well, actually it's not. He's married not one but TWO video hos. No not at the same time. He divorced the first video ho, to marry the second. I mean how stupid can a man be?? Don't answer that, the question is unanswerable. He's got like five or six kids with more than two women, none by the new wife. How stupid can she be? Okay, don't answer that either. I'm intelligent enough to know that humans are imperfect. Human frailty is infinite it seems. But I just expected so much more from this man. He was the ultimate IBM.......only to lead around by his hindquarters. What a disappointment. I'm also intelligent enough to know that you aren't your mistakes or weaknesses, but come on now TWO video hoes. He's just asking for bankruptcy. Ever see the Internet photo of Kimora Lee Simmons drinking ridiculously priced champagne while also soaking her feet in same champagne? This is what he has to look forward to. I'm not saying these women are shallow, vapid, empty-headed and simple......yes I am. I mean, really, a video 'dancer"....and when I say dancer I mean hooker. Oh well, another bites the dust.....
Just finished a fabulous book by Maureen Dowd: "Are Men Necessary?" GREAT book, just like one long rant on men. (BTW, the jury is still out on the question.)

Tall, Bright & Handsome

Unlike a most rappers, I can appreciate all a wide variety of looks. At First Friday at Felt Lounge there were beautiful hues of Black men everywhere. From the fine hi-yellah boys to the luscious dark-skinned cuties. I saw dark-brown chocolate and honey-colored redbones. I do have my preferences in shades and colorings, but I do know that there are cute men across the color spectrum. Can anyone tell me why a dark woman is not considered feminine? Or why a light colored man is not considered masculine? You can see it in all cultures. The expression “tall, dark and handsome” is used by all women regardless of race. On TV and movies you always see a dark hair and swarthy skin man as the romantic lead (Denzel Washington, Antonio Banderas, Johnny Depp). The only prominent blonde leading man is Brad Pitt. The same goes for black actors as well. The darker the black man is the more attractive he gets seems to say convention, but many black women find Shemar Moore, John Legend, or some other curly-head “light-skinned” boy the epitome of sexiness. The media sets up a cultural ideal that permeates the society by causing trends to move in one direction or the other and what is so troubling is they are so, so narrow. Think about the leading ladies: all are blonde (no need to list, think of anyone of them). Since there aren’t too many black leading ladies it’s hard to even make any comment on them, but one thing is true 99% are not DARK in color. Don’t even get me started on the music industry. If you look similar to Mariah Carey or Carrie Underwood you will get a record deal no matter if you can sing or not (Paris Hilton, Hillary Duff, Lindsay Lohan). Of course, luckily, some women’s talent can be denied and they break the typical look barrier (Fantasia, Angie Stone, Fiona Apple). It’s funny ‘normal’ people find beauty all around, but the media insists on putting us all in a very restrictive box.

Maybe I’m a little obsessed.

(Why, oh, why does the music industry insist on this trick of re-releasing old CDs with two or three new songs on it? See Mariah Carey and Usher for example. I’m listening to two songs on the Mariah Carey “Ultra Platinum Edition” of Emancipation of Mimi and they are HOT, but why would I buy the CD AGAIN for just two more songs? It’s plain evil.)

Independence Day

There are so many people to thank for the progress and success of this country. The Native Americans who kept the Pilgrims alive and then paid the ultimate price. The enslaved Africans who worked for free from 1609 to 1865 to build the wealth of the South all the while suffering innumerous atrocities and whose descendants are still suffering from discrimination, racism and prejudice. The Chinese who worked in the Southwest building the railroad for close to slave wages and whose descendants are still not called Americans. The Mexicans who are toiling in the hot sun as migrant produce pickers, being nannies and gardeners to the rich and then having to justify their presence in the US. There are many rights and liberties that are taken for granted (like civil liberties, human rights, women’s rights, voting rights, and labor rights) and we forget weren’t always available. The independence of America continues everyday. We are free to think, be, and behave as we wish. We are allowed to be any religion we want, do any occupation we want, and read any book we choose. We are allowed to investigate our desires, carnal or epistemologically. Independence Day should not only be celebration of our fortuitous battle with Great Britain, but the celebration of our daily freedoms which are denied to many people across the world.

(Too much?)