Girls think too much

I got a call from a man I am interested in at 4 am last night. Not a good sign. I find him fascinating. Of course, this 4 am call could be interrupted so many ways. And since I am a girl every one, of course, has run through my over-analytical brain. The scenarios are innumerable. It could have been a mistake dial. Probably not possibility because I’m sure I’m not a speed dial on his phone (well, I’m not 100% sure, but I’m 98% sure) and he hasn’t called me in the last few days so he didn’t hit the talk button by mistake. It could have been a drunk dial. This is very high on the probability scale. It’s 4 am, he’s drunk, he’s just starts dialing friends. I don’t answer, he moves on to the next number in the list. It could have been that he was stone cold sober and he wanted to have a heart to heart. Discuss his hopes, dreams and fears. This is like a 1,396,285 to 1 chance in probability. (I do know this guy sorta well.) Okay, so these are like the top three ideas. Oh, there is my fantasy reason: uh, he was going to confess his undying love for me and I only had to choose the time, place, and manner of wedding. Just kidding. I’m not ready for marriage. (I’m finally being honest with myself. It’s almost 2007, I say it’s about time for that!) I’m going to go with it was a mistake. It’s the simplest explanation and therefore the most feasible. Dammit how unromantic, mundane, and boring.

Be safe in all your New Year’s Eve festivities.

Here’s one for ya’ll

Scenario: Caucasian girlfriend and Caucasian boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up. After finding out that Girlfriend has slept with and dated black men in the past, Boyfriend says “don’t you feel bad about that? Don’t you feel guilty?” Girlfriend, of course, is appalled and they soon break up over that and a myriad of other reasons.

Question: Is boyfriend racist?

I polled my of some of my friends and here are their responses (paraphrased).

SCG (girl): Of course he’s racist, duh.

KG (guy): He’s probably racist. But, I think he’s more insecure about his tool size and the whole black male myth.

NG (guy): He’s probably racist. But, I think he’s thinking the type of white girls that date black guys are usually very easy (i.e., sluts), so my girlfriend is a slut. Typical, syllogism. And, of course, he’s insecure about his tool size.

I’m thinking it’s a tool size thing. I’ve met the Boyfriend. He tries to act black half the time (whatever that means). I think most people are filled with racial and sexist stereotypes (thanks TV & movies!). This guy suffers from the unfortunate belief that all black men have big tools. This is not true. Believe me. I have first hand knowledge. There are black with extremely small penises. Toddler size in fact. That myth is just crazy BS that drives so many ridiculous fantasies, nightmares and daydreams. Boyfriend suffers under this myth and he’s un-nerved by this fact when he’s having sex with Girlfriend. He’s having all these doubts and he probably is letting it get the best of him. So, he strikes out against her in fear, self-doubt, insecurity, etc., etc. Men are all obsessed about the size of their penises. Yes a big one is a good thing. A great thing. But, if you have an average sized one it doesn’t mean you will be forever plagued with the worst sex life in recorded human history. There is someone for everyone. A big one and small girl might not work out. The small girl may need a medium one. Okay, I’m sorry guys, I will have to put this bluntly: if you are below average or worse, you need to read up on other ways to please your mate. If it can’t be felt and a normal sized condom keeps slipping off….whoa! I’m sorry. Damn

A reminder

Peace on earth and good will toward men, women, & children.

Something new.

I’ve decided to try something new. I’m going to write a blog based on a request from a reader. Sarah from Cyberspace asked me to comment on animals versus humans. I’m not sure if she means who’s more important or who’s better. But, having had the same pet cat for close to 17 years, I’m definitely a animal lover. I think humans have a responsibility to protect the habitat for animals. I respect animals because they only do the will of God. But, I’m glad for the free will that I have been blessed with. Animals are gifts to be protected. On the other hand, animal life does not supersede human life. This country spends billions dollars on pets, but if someone talks of feeding the hungry or clothing the naked, there are many who balk about economic concerns. I’m assuming Sarah was commenting on the dog ordinance and its effect on the community. Dogs can be used as weapons unlike any other household pet. It can be trained to attack, kill or maim. Unfortunately some breeds are more ferocious and bloodthirsty than others. If I got attacked by a Miniature Poodle or a Pomeranian, I will live to tell the tale. But if a Pit Bull or a Akita mistake my ample behind for a rump roast, I’m done. There is a reason why most insurance companies won’t underwrite a homeowner where these dogs reside: they are statistically more dangerous than any other dogs. These are the plain black and white facts. Whether some of these dogs are manageable or tame is not an acceptable risk to take. These dogs maul and maim human beings due to whatever factor: mistreatment, misguidance, or ill training. If you teach a Jack Russell Terrier to be aggressive you may get a flesh wound. If you teach a Doberman to be aggressive you may get death. Find another way to feel powerful and invincible.

Not sure it addresses Sarah’s concerns but that’s my two cents on the matter. Keep on reading Sarah and please comment in the future.

I've been sick.....

Damn that flu virus. I barely remember this past Thursday and Friday is a blur, I think I woke up for good on Saturday afternoon. It’s insane. I don’t think I’ve ever had the flu. I’m more a bronchitis or sinus infection from allergies type of girl. But the overwhelming fatigue, nausea, congestion, and aches & pains was awful. (insert violin music here) Well, anyway, I’ve been wondering something for awhile. Has anyone noticed that the media didn’t start knocking celebrity adoptions until celebrities started adopting Black babies? Tons of celebrities have adopted children over the years. But there seems to be a big backlash to Madonna’s new baby and Angelina and Brad’s growing United Colors of Benetton family. No one said anything about Meg Ryan’s Chinese adoption or the various lesbian couples that adopt. I’m a little ashamed of the media. They have little regard for the backlash of their “disdain” and accusations these adoptions are “fads.” There may be some duds, but that comes in all families. We should all be proud these Americans have open their hearts and homes to children who could have been thrown in the gutter, starved to death or left untouched in scary orphanage. The tradition of adopting kids from other countries goes back far in American history. People adopted kids from Korea, Vietnam and Cambodia as far back as the sixties and seventies. White families all over the suburbs of America are adopting Chinese girls. To suggest, as I heard from some media talking heads, that international adoptions is just a phenomenon among the celebrities is ludicrous. Who cares what their motivations are. We act like ‘regular’ people don’t try to look über-magnanimous to family, friends, to fulfill some inner emotional need. These are generous people and they are setting a good example. Too much is given, much is expected.