Many of my white friends take for granted that sometimes life is a tiny bit easier for white people some of the time. I’m not whining, I’m just stating a fact. It’s a little bit easier to get a job, find a mate, and live life in an America when you’re white. I know exactly what they would say to this “Oh, I don’t believe that.” But, I’ve been Black for a long time and so have my parents and all the members of my family. It’s not easy being Black. That’s just a fact. That’s why sometimes we (us Black folks) celebrate things that the dominant culture may find curious, not that an impressive an event, or downright just plain ol’ mysterious. We celebrate high school graduations like the student is coming out of a Harvard PhD program. I find joy in a successful, loving Black couple. The doctor and the lawyer Cosby couple. I know of one these right here in Louisville, two if you count the one where the doctor is a dentist. (I count it.) I love that Barack Obama is married to a visibly, unmistakable Black woman, Michelle. (2 lawyers) I get giddy when I think of Nas and Kelis. (2 accomplished artists) I can get enough of Will and Jada. (2 actors) I pleased as punch for Al Rocker & Deborah Roberts. (2 television personalities) Tom Joyner and Donna Richardson are adorable and are an inspiration for black love. I’ve named the famous people, but there are many couples out there in the world that are holding down black on black love. I know my friends probably don’t understand this post at all and think I’m overreacting, but again being black ain’t no easy task. Talk to more than one Black woman and ask her opinion of black on black love or better yet watch how her face contorts or there is a micro-second of, I’ll say discomfort to keep it mild, when you mention couples like this or this. (Although many hate these men for other reasons.) Let Black love reign supreme in young people who are the descendants of enslaved Africans.
I have the Proof on my head.
I like the lyrics to this song.
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost
7 comments:
I follow what you are saying and each of the couples that you mentioned do present the image of the strong, beautiful and successful Black couple. But at least we have those images to admire, no matter how few there are. How many strong, beautiful successful Asian couples can anyone name? How about Hispanic couples with those same qualities? Anyone? Anyone? I am not trying to prove a point, just really asking questions.
And think on this... when you see white couples on the street or in a restaurant, how often do the words "Strong" and "Beautiful" come to mind? Not that often, huh? Why is that? Again, I am just asking...
Condolezza Rice, inspite of the Sulphrous-smelling Devil for whom she works, continually wins my "Bad A** Sista" award year after year. In a recent interview with Katie Couric, when asked if she will ever get married, stated that we all have the hope to someday be able to get married, of course, but that she doesn't like to think of marriage in the abstract sense ("just getting married to get married"). But rather finding someone whom you love and want to spend your life with---and doing that through the bond of marriage. Condi, if you are reading this, your Iraq policies stink to high heaven, but are on point with that one!
And yes, Tiger has a white woman. Stop it Black people. Okay? Please let it go. Did you ever think lots of Asian women might be mad, too? I mean why weren't they given equal consideration. By his calculations, Toger is more Asian than he is Black.
And Justice Thomas has one, too. So what. And Tiger is FINE, but seriously, are we REALLY that mad about Clarence Thomas? If C.T. is your kind of fantasy man, raise your hand and say "Amen". Hmmmm...... dead silence. Thought so! We need to STOP sweatin' the situation and be glad ole' girl took him off our hands.
And I am a Black woman that dates White Men. If I happen to marry one, do I get ostracized too? Nope, of course not. The state of Black women is not anyone's focus. We are off the radar. No one cares what we do, how we are portrayed or how we live. We get forgotten...like trees in the forest. Nobody notices. Think I'm lying? Just ask BET...
i am a white guy who likes black women. but they do not seem to like me. guess it is because i am really ugly to be honest.
eric
I agree that everything we do and accomplish is more difficult because we are black people in America. I try to expose my white friends to this truth as often as I can. Some believe it and some don't. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter if they believe it or not. As long as I am aware of the truth and know that with every accomplishment I achieve, the reward is greater because of what I had to overcome to achieve it, all is good with me.
I think what is key is to teach our young people about our strengths and struggles as a people so that they don't get lost in the hype and the lies that abound in our society. Too much emphasis is being placed on financial wealth when it should be placed on spiritual wealth and emotional health. Once you have a strong sense of who you are and why your life is important, there should be nothing left to hold you from being all that you can be.
We come from greatness, starting with God and our forefathers who prevailed over the start of this and all civilization. Don't ever forget that! Believe and know this to be TRUTH. Also know that our history is destined to repeat itself and we need to be ready to take our place at the top!!!
Here is the unspoken issue that people have a problem with. Successful black men are still looking for that trophy wife. In the days of segregation the trophy wife was a high yellow black woman as white women were off limits (Sometimes LEGALLY). Today with the restrictions lessened, “Why settle for near white when you have white-white?”
I am speaking as a black man that happens to be more in touch with his feminine side than most men are or would care to admit. While I don’t have a direct experience of being in an interracial relationship I have seen it up close and personal. Louisville has a significant population of interracial dating as blacks make up such a smaller portion of the population. I have several members in my family that are either married to white women or involved with white women.
However racism is still alive and well. However it has more issue with class now as there are many middle class blacks now. The reason it irks many black women that successful black men are involved with white women is because it is believe that the same women wouldn’t have ANYTHING to do with him if he was poor. I used to discuss this with my mother because I didn’t think that was the issue.
I said, “Mama successful men want to be the boss. Black women tend to be very domineering and not willing to submit to a man or anyone else if they can help it. White women tend to be more willing to submit to their husbands. This is why they marry white women. Who wants to be making millions of dollar only to have Shaniqua arguing about how and where the money is going to be spent.” My mother not one to be out done said, “There are plenty of black women that are higher class and have been born to money.” That’s what “Jack and Jill” is about. Also whenever these stars and athletes are interviewed what’s the first thing out of their mouth? “My mother was a strong black woman.” So here we have an interesting enigma. Good enough to raise you but not good enough to marry? That’s harsh isn’t it?
Now I’m not against interracial dating or marriage. I’m liberal and I say you like what you like. However I have a problem when you basically say that your own group isn’t even in your preference. That’s scary to me. That’s scary for a white or black person to say? It’s almost like a sign of self-hate.
But this is something that’s interesting. I now do believe that many of the white women that marry the super rich black men would NOT be so interested except he had his money. This is why black women have a problem. Many of these stars went to high school and grew up surrounded by black women. They were the ones that were the cheerleader and probably his first intimate experience. He may even have children with a black woman. So why is it when he decided to grow up and make something out of his life..business etc.. in addition to basketball that he has to get a white woman?
High class or upper middle class white women usually will not consider dating a black man and this can be irrespective of his wealth! It’s could cause problems on the home front. I’ve learned this first hand from a friend from Louisville. He’s biracial and very, very light skin. He could easily pass for European. He’s a successful man. Has a highly sought after degree, no children, young and attractive. His experience has been that white women in his sphere of influence (job, neighborhood etc…) will not show interest in him. However when they find out that he’s not white. That interest goes the other way! They usually think that he’s French, Italian, Spanish, or Greek (Mediterranean). He said himself it seems that the women in his social level are not interested in dating a black man. It’s only after they’ve been dogged by the white men in their lives and they think of trying something different or come for lower class families. This is what he told me himself! He said he doesn’t believe it’s that the women are necessarily racist; they don’t want to deal with the social disapproval of their family and society.
In example it should be noted that O.J. Simpson’s wife Nicole did NOT come from money! O.J. won the first trial but lost the second trial. Not because of Nicole’s family. He messed with a very wealth Jewish family! Ron came from Money. Nicole didn’t and the record showed that O.J. took care of HER as well as her FAMILY. That’s why nothing happened!
So this is why black women have a problem with successful black men dating white women! It’s because it’s highly likely if that black man didn’t have the money, then the woman wouldn’t have ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM. Then soon as the man has issues, he’s surrounded by men from the Nation of Islam!
Tiger Woods is just another unusual example! As someone stated, he could be considered more Asian. So with that being the case why didn’t he marry an Indian, Black or Asian woman? How is it that he just so happened to marry a model from Europe? I’m not saying that they aren’t in love. I’m not concerned anyway. It’s just interesting how people tend to socialize given their points of origin? (Personally, I’m thinking he would’ve had a difficult time finding a woman of color that would willing sit and watch him play golf (money notwithstanding).
I think you left out the most obvious examlpe of Black on Black love: your parents.
life is easier for good looking people then it is ugly ones like me.
eric
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