Scenario: Caucasian girlfriend and Caucasian boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up. After finding out that Girlfriend has slept with and dated black men in the past, Boyfriend says “don’t you feel bad about that? Don’t you feel guilty?” Girlfriend, of course, is appalled and they soon break up over that and a myriad of other reasons.
Question: Is boyfriend racist?
I polled my of some of my friends and here are their responses (paraphrased).
SCG (girl): Of course he’s racist, duh.
KG (guy): He’s probably racist. But, I think he’s more insecure about his tool size and the whole black male myth.
NG (guy): He’s probably racist. But, I think he’s thinking the type of white girls that date black guys are usually very easy (i.e., sluts), so my girlfriend is a slut. Typical, syllogism. And, of course, he’s insecure about his tool size.
I’m thinking it’s a tool size thing. I’ve met the Boyfriend. He tries to act black half the time (whatever that means). I think most people are filled with racial and sexist stereotypes (thanks TV & movies!). This guy suffers from the unfortunate belief that all black men have big tools. This is not true. Believe me. I have first hand knowledge. There are black with extremely small penises. Toddler size in fact. That myth is just crazy BS that drives so many ridiculous fantasies, nightmares and daydreams. Boyfriend suffers under this myth and he’s un-nerved by this fact when he’s having sex with Girlfriend. He’s having all these doubts and he probably is letting it get the best of him. So, he strikes out against her in fear, self-doubt, insecurity, etc., etc. Men are all obsessed about the size of their penises. Yes a big one is a good thing. A great thing. But, if you have an average sized one it doesn’t mean you will be forever plagued with the worst sex life in recorded human history. There is someone for everyone. A big one and small girl might not work out. The small girl may need a medium one. Okay, I’m sorry guys, I will have to put this bluntly: if you are below average or worse, you need to read up on other ways to please your mate. If it can’t be felt and a normal sized condom keeps slipping off….whoa! I’m sorry. Damn
7 comments:
I think some people have an idea or stereotype of what they think of a girl who dates black men, exclusively or not. I appreciate all men. I've dated black and non-black men. It's weird because I have friends who, for some reason, think that just because I date black men that that must mean that black men are all I want to date. That's not true. I appreciate and date a variety.
I think there is a level of racism when people feel the need to differentiate when applying the dating stereotypes.
Personally, I feel lucky because I get a variety in my dating life.
While I think that he is racist, as Felicia used my comment in the article. I also think that he has an array of insecurities and possibly sexist views as well. The man in the scenario (based on a true story) knew from the begining that she dated black men in her past. This was not a recent news flash. More than focusing on whether or not he is a racist, I hope that the girl focuses on the deep rooted value differences between them. - SCG
To me this is just symptomatic of the double standards white men specifically have had for centuries and men in general. As I don’t know the person in question, I would like to believe this is something he is demonstrating subconsciously and not actually know where it stems from.
White men have slept with women for dozen of cultures since the age of exploration began. White men sired children with these women in addition. Even today, I don’t believe most white men would have a great problem with sleep with a woman from another group. Marriage is another situation all together. Right now I’m talking about sex.
Even after slavery it was not uncommon from white men to sleep with black women by force, coercion or freely. However it was VERY, VERY, VERY rare for white women to sleep with black men, at least openly.
While it’s not spoken of outside of white circles, it is still considered improper to race mix. I would dare say that some consider it disgusting and animalistic to sleep with blacks. In the 90’s we Africans has a saying, “Once you go black you don’t go back.” However less known is that whites also had a saying, “Once you go black WE DON’T want you back.” In higher society a white women that sleeps with a black man is considered damaged goods. An intelligent white woman from that society would probably NEVER let it be known that she slept with a black man, even if once.
Today these sentiments and feelings are fading away. However their remnants still remain. Related to the subject we may look at professional sports players. Specifically I may refer to O.J. Simpson. Nicole Smith to my understanding did not come from money. Her marriage to a black man was a step up socially. This is the case with many professional sports players. White women with pedigree papers and lineage (excuse my use of wording) would not be seen dating a black man.
Today we see more white women dating black men and in the open. Several of my male relatives are either married or dating white women. However, this just goes towards my point. Most of these women are not from upper class families but middle, to lower class.
We show acknowledge that the past has a strong impact on us living in the present than most of us are willing to acknowledge.
He may be racist but he's right. :)
White girls who date black guys are almost always very promiscuous and have serious daddy issues. Most white guys know this and is the reason why they steer clear.
They're both racists. Racial discrimination means discriminating on another race. Which is what both did.
Why is it that it is always seen to be racist if one doesn't approve of interracial relationships? And the tool thing is a copout. If that is true, and is good enough, then she would have stayed for it. Why can't it just be that people date others from their own group. I don't believe any one group is better than any other - or that they should be treated otherwise, but I would have an issue if my girlfriend had dated outside her race. Not because of racism, but because of the daddy issues, political issues, and perhaps her racism (against her own) at the time. There is an argument that by dating a black man (and I suppose that it works the other way around too), one is giving control to that black man over the father of the white daughter. Why would someone want to date someone who would do this to her family?
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