That’s right. I’m bossy just like Kelis. I’m an educated, Black goddess who can argue you up one side and down the other. I can hold a conversation with anyone from a brainac like Stephen Hawkings to the imbecilic like 50 Cent. I read non-fiction and fiction so my interests are wide and varied. I can cook. I can take care of myself. Did I mention I’m funny as hell? I mean really funny. I’m great at all extra-curriculum activities. See why I’m single? No really, for real, don’t you see? Okay, go tell my mother. Being an educated, Black goddess is hard work. I have done everything I know how to do to be a great woman. But, it seems like being a great, well rounded woman is not something men want. Okay, I’m whining again. I really need help. I should really see about this problem I have. I’m great, I’m great…blah, blah, blah, I don’t have a man, blah, blah, blah…..Maybe, I’m not so great. Impossible. I know like twenty girls just like me, we all can’t be wenches. (Did I mention that I hate the heat and summer? I swear in
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
I’m bossy!
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4 comments:
It should be extra- "curricular" (not "curriculum" as you said) quoth the English teacher. Love you anyway.
You have to be happy with yourself first and comfortable being alone. I've haven't bothered with men for 4 years and although Freud said the only kind of bizarre sex is no sex at all, I'm very happy and could give or take men. Most don't really impress me, and the ones that do are taken. Such is life. If a good one comes along, great, if not, I will survive, hey, hey.
Yes it is too much to ask. The average man is threatened by women like those you mentioned, yourself, and all women like you. Few men are secure enough to realize that educated and independent doesn't mean we think we're too good to be with them. Most often men want chickenheads that think they're wonderful if they holler, "Hey baby" at them instead of walking up to a woman and extending their hand and formally introducing themselves. When a man's opening line involves what he thinks he can do for you in the bedroom and not what he can do for you while you're vertical isn't acceptable to educated women. If you can't come correct and have a decent conversation about yourself an educated woman isn't going to give you the time of day. Most men can't handle this. Also most men's egos are very fragile. If a lady can pay her own bills and doesn't necessarily need you they can't handle it. When it comes to bullshit, educated women are less likely to accept any and everything they're told and be happy to have a man. We expect to be respected and if not we don't have time to deal with stupid stuff. Most men don't understand that you can be intimate without every taking off a stitch of clothing. For me if a man has decent conversation skills I'm more likely to want to get to know him if not I don't need to talk to that particular man. Sistergirl, you will find somebody who appreciates you for who you are and not try to change you, until then don't settle you are too beautiful and intelligent to settle.
It is irrelavent which mating patterns that you choose to see, meeting someone truly special is an arduous task. When you are doing exactly what you need to be doing in your life, and have discovered your goals, are taking an active approach to attaining them, focusing on YOUR progression as a person in a world as hectic as ours(quite a complicated task in itself), then you may be in a position to LOOK for a mate. There will never be a guarantee, and that is one fact a few of the women that I know tend to avoid. Some of us approach dating as if we are sure to find our soulmate, its just a matter of time! That is bullshit, you arent guaranteed jack. And when you look at it like that, maybe you will be less likely to convince yourself that so-and-so is the one, based on some nonsense( kismet, dumb luck, youve been praying, or the fact that he happens to be the most attractive guy in the room). It is true that you have a chance in finding your soulmate prior to finding yourself, but I just have this sneaking suspicion that when you are where you need to be, you will find things that youve been looking for with greater ease. You might see a dozen trees on the path, but when you get to the forest, you will see many,many more. It is possible that you have not met every type of guy that is out there. Although I am well aware of how some women just love to say that all men are EXACTLY the same (many are), I consider the sources. These women have oftentimes searched high and low, all throughout and between the entire expanse of the four square blocks surrounding their home. This isnt enough.
Sad to say, Louisville, in context, is not that big. You may judge this by how many exclassmates that you run into on an annual basis. Exactly how many new faces do you think you will meet in the spots that you frequent? How many different personalities? How many different viewpoints do you plan on discovering in an area like this one?
I say this not to imply that there is some flaw in your particular approach, only that, maybe there is more to be done within. So much is gained by the individual only after knowing who they are; what they want, where they are going, and why, etc. I imagine that this lack of realization of individual goals is a heavy contributer to the problem. Clarity of purpose will ensure greater gains, regardless of detractors or distractions.I read that "obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off of the goal". Consider these half-way men your obstacles, your distractions. I am sure that women have said quite commonly, "I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SH**!" in reference to their men and their antics, I have heard it from female friends. That statement is all the motivation that they should need to stop wasting time with the "sh**". Far too often these same women will never leave, or they will, only to find three more just like the last one in rapid succession. With these types of men en masse to support their rationale, its no wonder that so many of you feel similarly, you are probably all dealing with the same 20 or so men. I mean this figuratively, the "same men" mentally: men with the same"plans" and whatnot.
As far as some men resenting accomplished women, all weak people envy the strong. This rule is extremely simple: Envy breeds hate. In one form of another, it will reveal itself. If a person, male or female, allows envy to rule their views, there is no reason for you to continue ANY dealings with the person. If you have been the target of an envious person I dont need to explain it to you.
The craziest thing is that self-concious, insecure, weak-minded people are drawn to self-assured, confident, focused people. And in some cases, the reverse holds true as well. Maybe its the opposites attract theory, or maybe something else, like, the weak want to learn to be better and somewhere their pride gets in the way and theyre too dense to remove it.Lord knows. But, the fact remains, these are the people that you dont need in your life, the ones who are threatened or intimidated. They serve no purpose, other than to impose on you, instilling doubt and insecurity and all the other emotions that they struggle with. Something like the women who cant stand other women for commiting the capital offense of looking nice in public.The ones who will cut down any and every cute woman in the room because they arent secure. The ones who despise Beyonce for no clear reason. Haters. If you are comfortable being with these types, then you will stay with them. If you are not, you will not. Since nearly everyone would deny wanting to be around leaches like these, plenty of people prove their preference by never leaving. They tell themselves that the person needs them, or that they dont feel like going to the trouble of meeting and "learning" another person. They will even go so far as to pretend that they are better than the rest, so as to avoid breaking free from their "comfort zone". All in all, if you truly want exactly what you say that you want, you will never settle for less. And if you are an intelligent, accomplished woman, I dont believe I need to tell you anything about perseverance.
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